Ten Signs That You Are In An Opera, And What To Do Next
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| By
Harriet Wilson
(Updated on Sep 9, 2025)
Have you ever felt like you’re not just living your life but performing in it? They say “all the world’s a stage,” but sometimes it feels like it’s going a step too far. It’s like we’re constantly treading the boards at His Majesty’s Theatre, stuck in an endless loop of the Phantom of the Opera, instead of doing the weekly shop at Tesco. If the drama is high, the emotions are sweeping, and everything seems a little over the top - you might just be in an English National Opera. Here are ten signs to watch for…
- You are overcome with emotion, but you’re not entirely sure why.
- You gasp - loudly, and often.
- Exotic fruit or suspicious poison makes up most of your diet.
- You swoon at least once a week.
- Dinner invitations always end up being fateful feasts.
- Subtle expressions are impossible; your polite smile becomes a wild gesture.
- You’re astonished while eating a pineapple.
- Doctors appear but never actually help.
- The higher your stress, the higher your vocal pitch.
- Love is always separated by three octaves.
So you’ve realised: you’re living inside an opera. Everything is elaborate, emotions run high, and all you really want is a quiet night in with some ice cream. What now?
First, if you don’t understand what someone is singing, just nod or look appropriately sad—it usually works. If you’re confused, wait until the chorus arrives; they’ll recap everything you missed. Be careful of eye contact—two people smiling at each other almost always signals an affair. Pay attention to the music: if someone walks in with minor chords, trouble is coming. Above all, don’t drink suspicious wine, avoid Box Five, and never stand under chandeliers (just ask the Phantom).
If you’re in heavy, dark clothing, you’re likely in for tragedy. If you’re wearing excessive blusher, you’re probably in a comic opera—so have fun while it lasts. Otherwise, stay alert and try not to get yourself killed before the final curtain.
And if this sounds like your life, maybe it’s time to see how real opera unfolds on stage. From cheap opera tickets to grand productions, London offers plenty of ways to experience the drama. Whether you’re booking seats for Phantom of the Opera in the West End or catching a world-class performance at the English National Opera, you’ll find unforgettable stories, soaring music, and even opera tickets under £30 if you know where to look (hint: they’re found at London Theatre Direct).
See also: Ten Signs That You Are In A… Comedy, Musical, and Tragedy.